Around the time Owen turned three, it became apparent to all of us that maybe Owen should be speaking more. Maybe his cute little caveman language was not exactly normal. I signed him up for a speech evaluation at the end of August, I filed out the paperwork and really started realizing there was an issue. Last monday they evaluated him, and we found out indeed he did. It did not come as a surprise I knew he would need intervention, the shocking part was when they said he would start school the next day. Wait, what? My baby? He can't go to school he's only three, and he isn't potty trained and he's always with me!
Denial. Something experienced often with children. To all those people who said "it will go fast!" I sort of hate you, because you were right. Its flying, its so fast there needs to be a new word for fast. I hate it so much. My baby Owen, three and going to school four times a week. On Tuesday I cried the entire day, up until I took him in, I put on a brave mama face. I left him with this new stranger who would take care of him, a dad made fun of me for crying, then I cried the whole way home. This was my 3rd child drop off and the most painful.
I texted friends, and asked "Why is this so hard?" I know in my heart why it is. Just yesterday he was a chubby faced little baby, who nursed, slept with his chubby arms up above his head, and made us all smile. I blinked and he was turning one, I blinked again and it was his 2nd birthday in Disneyland. One more blink and here we are, a three year old. It goes too freaking fast and I hate it, the faster it goes the busier we get then suddenly its been two months since your kid turned three, and you're left wondering where the time went.
This is basically why I cry every time I leave him at the school or when I think about leaving him at the school, its another 3 hours of time going too fast.
I have guilt every day that I don't blog. I love my blog, it keeps these moments that go by too fast safe in my memory. I thank god every day that I am so obsessed and passionate about photography. So even when I am loaded in clients and sessions and editing their photos. I am still capturing every single detail of each of my babies lives.
Because it just goes too damn fast.
1 comment:
My daughter: yes life goes fast and yes you should cry because you gave birth to him and nursed him and you love him so much and he is your last baby .
Maybe you can have another one, but life is hard enough with 3 .
I know about crying, when you left I cried and I wept for months mostly because you left on a trip so far away and with your son also who was so much in our life .
I cried for Nicky and I cried for my dad who left also for ever .
That is how we show our love .
They still need you all 3 of them more tan you think Every day day a different thing : a crisis ,a tantrum a fight and sometimes you want to be left alone and others you cry or laugh .I wish you could feel the need to register the life of all 3 and what they do and said because now I can barely remember how did you or Nicky talked or played, but I do remember only that I loved you both so much .
I do hope you include all 3 in your blogs .
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